No Cover Up

“No Cover up,
Just so much trouble.
No cover up,
I’m bent in double.
No cover up,
Just wreck and rubble of the person I was.

I am broken and I stand accused.
Is there someone who can let me loose?
If you find the answer make careful note.
I could use your pardon and a lot of hope.
I’m getting to that part at the end of the rope.

No cover up,
I feel the burning.
No cover up,
Nor time for turning.
No cover up,
I hope I’m learning some honesty,
some honesty.”

From “No Cover Up” by Duke Special.

The past few weeks have been draining in ways.  I’ve willingly journeyed with three sets of friends and family through some fairly major events and life decisions.  Part of my thoughts and mind has almost constantly been with them – wondering, thinking, yearning, praying…

It’s been a rollercoaster and the situations are all still unresolved.  The seeming outcome in some of them is different from what those involved might have hoped for.

The whole thing has given me a fresh perspective on family and vulnerability.  People who are not my biological family have become part of a larger extended family through friendship, honesty and the support we offer eachother. Other actual family relationships seem to have been restored to a better state of health because things have been said that needed to be said – hard things during tearful conversations.  Trite advice, passive aggression or defensive dis-interest has been replaced with honesty.  Superficiality has been removed and replaced with something real.  There has been a sharing of angst, pain, doubt and uncertainty. 

Through it all there has been a turning to the Bible and a carrying of one another in prayer.  Verses I have read hundreds of time have jumped out in different ways with the emphasis on different words or nuances.  Other passages have been illuminated and one knocked the wind out of me like a tonne of bricks and has left me somewhat weak kneed ever since.

Actually I think this is a small part of what Eucharist is about – the gift of God – to be broken and poured out.

It has been my experience that in the times when I’ve needed God most, when all of the other props are gone, that I have really let myself be found by Him.  Those are life defining moments in my story.  Maybe through sharing in one another’s stories, each day can have significance?  2Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ”. Galatians Ch 6: vs 2.  Or as Romans Chapter 12 declares, 9Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. 14Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.[c] Do not be conceited”

The song from which this post derives its title has been in my head on constant repeat these past few days.  I’ve provided a link to its beautiful delivery on Later With Jools Holland below: 


4 Responses to “No Cover Up”

  1. 1 brunettekoala July 27, 2009 at 9:05 am

    A guy called Todd Atkinson once told us that in our ‘valley’ experiences, our darkest and most desperate times is when we become closer to God because the only thing we can do is to rely on Him.

    I think it’s also the times when we grow the most, and come out the other end, exhuasted but stronger.

  2. 2 brunettekoala July 27, 2009 at 9:08 am

    And as for extended family – I have been so thankful for the support all of you have given me in so many different ways through this journey I’ve been on with (without?) my Dad and all the drama that’s come with it.

    I know that I wouldn’t have got through those 2 weeks in South Africa without prayer support back home.

  3. 3 damascusmoments August 2, 2009 at 4:33 pm

    I think you’re spot on about the Eucharist – we’re called to pour ourselves out for one another as Jesus did (does) for us. But also, only He can be the Body of Christ in a single (albeit 3-part!) person. The Eucharist also reminds me that as for us humans, for now we receive just a little bit of his completeness, his perfection. In our everyday lives, as we muck on through, trying to do “stuff”, we also realise our vulnerability. We have roles and God equips us for them, but we’re not made to be independent. We start to see Jesus in others, and as we love them we learn we need to trust and rely on each other. And somehow, as we do it, we catch a glimpse of what it really means to be the body of Christ. Together, interdependent and beautiful. Kind of a sneaky peek of how the model in 1 Corinthians 12 looks. Thanks.

    Loving Duke Special too – though the first album’s far and away better than the new one I think… Saw them at Greenbelt a couple of years ago. Their stage antics are something to see!

  4. 4 thestatethatiamin August 2, 2009 at 5:35 pm


    I love to hear little snippets of how things are working out in ordinary, everyday, people’s lives. How we are growing, being stretched and poured out as the Body. How the Church of Jesus Christ is actually becoming exactly that.

    I ofetn tire of how the church is portrayed in the media, etc and feel saddened by how so many of my friends and colleagues perceive it as a result of their own life experiences.

    I look forward to hearing what comes of the content of your own latest post.

    Thanks for dropping by again.


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"The priest in the booth had a photographic memory for all he had heard. He took all of my sins and he wrote a pocket novel called "The State That I'm In"". From "The State I Am In" by Belle and Sebastian
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